How great it feels to be myself again, I can’t even begin to tell you how sweet it is to go about daily business and not think about the AWFUL C word. I hate even being reminded of it somedays but I’m also happy to acknowledge what I have been through as I’m proud I got through it all.
I have more energy, I’m exercising again and eating better. I’m returning to work and enjoying holidays with my family. I have lost the stone I put on during treatment.
I’m loving shopping for clothes again and generally just getting back to the old thoughts and nothing related to hospitals.
I start counselling soon to help me the to release ‘the big C’ from my thoughts. Reconstruction is on my mind a lot as it looks like my biggest operation to date. I think it’s worth it as I can forget about ‘foobs’ and have a slimmer stomach in the process but gosh it looks so so scary. I need to join the gym and get more in shape before it goes ahead.
Oh and I have a consultation this week for racoon ‘hair in recovery’ hair extensions so I can tame my wild chemo hair and potentially ditch my wigs. Hopefully my hair will be ready for this change otherwise I’ll be advised to wait until it’s stronger and capable of holding the new hair.
I find myself doing something normal like shopping, attending a wedding, being on holiday and I think wow look at me not in a hospital! This makes me smile even more and enjoy that day even more than ever. It’s like a boost of energy, a constant reminder to embrace life and not complain about silly things.
I prey that I’ll never have cancer again, if so ill fight it as best I can until then I’ll enjoy being on this earth and being with my family. Cancer can spread without you realising until it’s too late and I don’t know how long I’ll be here so I’ll try to do the best with the time I have and prey I can be with my family for as long as possible ☺
Days go by without thinking about it and people mention it less and less which helps me to return to who I was before all this shit happened. As I have said before I had cancer but cancer never had me. I’m me I’m not a cancer patient and I don’t want to be the victim anymore. This happened and it’s done now, hopefully I never see a bag of red chemo again.