2017 a new year and I start it fighting breast cancer. How depressing. I’m half way through chemo and found Christmas this year more tiring than before and despite poison within my body I really tried to make the best of it.
I have never looked at life this way before. Never have I appreciated life so much. It sounds strange as I’m suffering right now but every day that I feel okay I feel blessed to be alive and notice more than ever how beautiful the world is.
I find myself people watching and wondering what’s going on in everyone else’s lives. I used to think how lucky are you? Your not facing all of this but you never know what people are going through. When I get my health back people won’t know to look at me what I have been through.
I want to change my life. I think stress and worry as well as bad diet and alcohol could be a possibility of the cause of cancer but then again it could just be a faulty gene. Just in case though I want to take better care of myself. I want to exercise more and eat better as well as practicing mindfulness. I want to combat anxiety and be a more confident person.
I know I don’t get enough sleep, I’m often awake staring at me phone until 2am despite needing to be up for the school run at 7.30! Im often running late and stressing out I now realise I only have myself to blame and I need to put this right and make better decisions. I didn’t realise how bad it was until it was pointed out to me by a friend who said she just couldn’t function on such little sleep.
I have made a decision to return to work part time. I have read that with triple negative my cancer is most likely to return in the first two years. After five years my chances of survival increase. With that in mind would I want to spend my time working full time if I do only have 2 years left? I want to still be around for my son and spend time at home.
I’m looking forward to summer and being rid of these awful side effects. I’m hoping to just spend as much time as I can with my family and having fun, planning fun trips and making sure my son is loving life. I want to be more relaxed and calmer and influence my family to be the same way.
Update May 2017-
I got these books to read on holiday perhaps Tey will help with my new attitude and my organised new life 😂