Returning to work after being told you have breast cancer is certainly very odd, wondering around the corridors and everyone’s none the wiser. I felt like a vulnerable little child who needed looking after. I told my close colleague Alison as our rooms are close and I needed someone to speak to. Alison was amazing and so understanding however she was not at work when I returned. Not many people were around actually it was the summer holiday period. I told Joy and Ashleigh soon after, it’s quite a hard secret to keep! Some days you want to tell people so you have support.
I felt like I didn’t want people to know most days as I liked to be normal and forget about it. I loved meeting up with the girls at lunch and talking about the simple things in life such as our pets, our partners and working life. I soon realised the insignificance of everyone’s day to day complaints and how much I had worried over the small insignificant things that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. I vowed to change after my journey was through, no more over the top worrying and stressing! No more staying at work till 7.30!
If I had a day nobody really spoke to me I felt more upset though as I think sometimes sympathy and attention can be a good thing that makes you feel loved and more motivated to fight. I was given a big meeting to minute and I felt like saying please not today, I need a break I have cancer! But I didn’t I went ahead and did it and a manager even saw me writing a list of questions to my surgeon oops! I doubt he noticed, I probably would have seen the confer. In his face if he had. My head was all over and I couldn’t focus.
I later told more people at work, each surgery I had I felt I should announce on Facebook without blatantly saying what was going on (a cry for help perhaps?) and of course this led to private messages asking what was wrong. I feel if people really cared about me they will be brave enough to get in touch and ask what’s up.
Now more people know I have been overwhelmed by the response I have received beautiful flowers, gifts and messages and really lovely messages and phone calls about how I can fight this and will get through it all.
My friend joy send me a new age purple bible with quotes underlined to feel close to God during my journey. My friend Ashleigh send the some lovely books and mindfulness activities for during chemotherapy. My friend Louise sent me a necklace with an angel on, how sweet. I got a collection for flowers and flowers and chocolates from Karen and her son. The messages I got were really positive, I miss my work friends I hope to meet them soon before chemotherapy starts or during chemotherapy.
I was very happy when my work mam Anne got in touch, she is the social butterfly of the office and is the type of person to speak her mind and let the odd swear word out when things got hard and that’s what I love about her, honest feelings and openness.
I had my lumpectomy and decided 8 days later I was ready to drive to my work friend Louise’s engagement. There I saw Anne and Diane and despite agreeing with myself I wouldn’t tell bad news at a party I ended up blurring it out as soon as I seen them!! I am glad I did tell them though, people are so supportive.
Anne’s daughter is an oncologist so she had went to her house for the weekend for a few drinks and to visit her grandkids, when her daughter explained the ins and outs of everything there was to know about breast cancer over a few G&Ts Anne said she didnt know what the f×ck she was talking about. I have to admit there’s a lot of medical terminology to get your head around and lots of different types of breast cancer you can be diagnosed with She phoned me the next day and said ‘f*ck if I can’t understand any or this from my own daughter how the f*ck can you understand it all? ? This made me smile, I think it needs to be easier for young girls to understand… Easier for everyone to understand!
Me and Anne, we share the same birthday 🙂 #birthdaytwins
Gifts from work friends –
My boss was very understanding and I told some other colleagues I work for, one shed a little tear and gave me a hug I managed not to cry. Some days your strong and you can talk about it to anyone, other days you can say a few words and it reduces you to tears. It’s odd how quickly you adapt to your current situation though! The human spirit is a strong powerful thing and I do believe positivity and hope can help you to fight 🙂
Sorry if I have missed anyone out there’s so many amazing friends at my workplace 🙂